The Ritual of Love
Written in Long Tang (Red Dragon) Village, China, January 2010
(blog below pictures of the village; place mouse on pictures for captions)
“If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal” (I Corinthians 13:1).
I am again stationed in my bed for rest, after a busy week and a half of outreach. I lie there, much entertained, not by a TV or CD player, but by the myriad sounds outside the guest house where I’m staying. An old woman who lives across the street from the guest house died yesterday morning, and a funeral has been in procession for her ever since. Clanging, drumming, yelling, ringing, barking, gonging, firecracking…every type of sound imaginable is occurring outside. I looked over to the house a couple of hours ago when the sounds were particularly loud, only to see the last people of a procession go inside. They were men—dressed in some type of white garb. Buddhist priests? I have no idea. I really have no idea of anything going on over there. I can only speculate.
So I lie there, wondering what the old woman was like to warrant such fanfare at her earthly departure. Or is this fanfare? Perhaps this is a normal Chinese funeral. Then I wonder if she is loved, and this funeral is a display of love and honor for the deceased, or if this is simply a matter of religious ritual that must be performed. I wonder where the hearts of the funeral attendees are. Are they grieved with the loss of a dear one? Or are they, too, attending out of self-honor, saving-face because not attending would be a societal faux pas.
This all reminds me of the religious ritual we Christians act-out most often—we act loving but don’t have love in our hearts. We act in a loving way—in a way others would approve of— more out of self-honor than honor for God. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying it’s horrible or sinful to act loving when we don’t feel loving. In fact, we should. Love is an action, not a feeling, and many times real love grows for someone when we act it out. However, Jesus didn’t love because He felt He should—He loved because He is love. It is part of His every essence—it is who He is. Therefore, to not love, or to love in any way less would be contrary to His very nature. And we are called to live as Christ lived—nothing less.
So, my question is— are we truly loving? Or are we going through the religious ritual, doing the Christian duty, out of obligation? I would go so far as to say that the latter borders living by the law instead of the freedom of Christ. Yes, I know that’s a strong statement to make. But a motivation check is necessary. What is our motivation with people? Is it to truly serve and honor them above ourselves, as Christ did? Or do I do nice things for people because the Bible says I should, as I silently resent them? Or, worse yet, as I silently hope they are approving of and admiring me? Who is on the throne of our hearts— Christ? Or ourselves?
The good news is that the Lord sent the Holy Spirit to empower us to do His will. We don’t need to conjure up love, or try to fake it as we resent those we serve. It is our inheritance, as children of God, to be led and filled by His Spirit. Then we are able to accomplish the impossible tasks He asks us to do, such as loving our neighbors as ourselves. 2 Peter 1:3-4 says, “By His divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all this by coming to know Him, the One Who called us to Himself by means of His marvelous glory and excellence.” He’s given us everything we need to live a life worthy of His calling for us! It’s not a matter of hoping or dreaming it up or conjuring up enough will power… the love necessary is already inside of us.
The key is accessing that love by means of the Holy Spirit. As we live in obedience to His voice and His Word (the Bible), we unlock the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Then we slowly but surely begin to walk by the Spirit and not by the flesh. And as we walk in step with the Spirit, fruit is produced (see Galatians 5:22). The first of these fruits is love.
You see, our Lord knows how weak we are! He knows that we cannot truly love on our own—it either becomes religious duty or selfish people pleasing. So, in order that we could both receive and give away this most treasured gift, He empowered us with Himself to bestow it… just as John wrote, “We love because He first loved us” (I John 4:19). Let’s move to the next level of intimacy with the Lord by allowing Him to fill us with His love as we humble ourselves and submit to Him. Let’s move beyond our childish motivations and into His presence… then will we truly love with the authenticity and humility that is marked by Christ.
