After we shook hands, I immediately became nervous. I can only explain the reason being I had never actually touched a dirty homeless person before. I had served many at the Thursday night “soup kitchen,” but none so dirty as he was. And I had spoken to many at the rescue mission the summer before when I served a weekend there, but again, none so dirty. I had also never reached out and shaken a hand. Something happened when my hand took his. I cannot explain what, except a wall in my heart came crashing down. I suppose my nervousness was a reflection of the new openness in my heart to a person, a “people,” whom I had never been open to before. I had crossed the invisible line.

You see, there’s this invisible barrier between us. We say it’s not there, but if you really examine your heart, wouldn’t you agree with me? They are the “other ones.” They are the “outsiders.” They are the people we do not think about, except when ”they” annoy us by coming up to our car windows at intersections, or by holding up cardboard signs for help in front of supermarkets, impeding us from entering our favorite stores comfortably. We do not think of “them,” except perhaps in the greater sense of it all: “we should end the homeless problem…why isn’t our mayor doing anything about it?…why aren’t social services able to get them off the streets?…” As long as they don’t touch our clean, ordered lives, we don’t think of them at all, except in the theoretical sense, as if “the homelessness problem” were a theory instead of a fact of all of our lives. We lump “them” together as a group in our minds. We don’t see individuals, but that group of invisible people who only sometimes pop up on the surface of our lives, invading our space in some way. They are the modern-day lepers.

That is why I became significantly nervous when I touched Raymond’s hand. I had touched the pariah, the leper. But I knew I needed to. If I keep that invisible wall between Raymond and myself, is that not affirming his pariah-status? Is that not telling him that I, like everyone else he comes into contact with, do not really want to welcome him into my space? Oh yes, I can go through the motions and act kind, and even serve him a hot meal. Those are all good and well, but if I am willing to touch him, that is something different. I am not writing this to condemn anyone and to put myself on a pedestal by any means, but I write from my own convicted heart. I have not been willing to reach out and touch the leper. I have wanted to maintain my own space, my own comfort, my own cleanliness— on both a broad and small scale. I want a comfortable life without messiness. I want to serve the way I find easiest and most suited to my natural inclinations. I want to “follow Jesus” to all of the places He takes me, except for the dirty places. I will let the outreach coordinator and the people with those kinds of hearts to go to the dirty, messy places. After all, I am inclined towards the beautiful. I like fine wine and fashion and interior design and gourmet food. I do not have an addiction, my hair is almost always in place, and my relationships are good. I do not use foul language and I only live in nice neighborhoods. I am well-educated and like to read non-fiction. My life is clean, orderly, and well-kept. I do not like messes. In fact, I am a self-proclaimed “clean freak.”

But Jesus wasn’t. He hung out with prostitutes and tax collectors, Samaritans and women, the lame, the downtrodden, the misfits, the dirty messes: the pariahs of His day and age. He ate with them, He touched them, He loved them. Where others saw and imposed an invisible line, He barged right over it. He moved towards people when others shrank back in repulsion. He ignored the societal expectations and norms of the day, and tore down their walls of fear and hatred and mistrust and pride. Jesus reached out and touched.

If we proclaim to follow Christ, may we really do so, as well. May we follow Him wherever he takes us, even if that means getting a little dirty from time to time. Who knows, in doing so, we may just have the blessing of touching Jesus Himself.

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“A man with leprosy came to Him and begged Him on his knees. ‘If you are willing, you can make me clean.’ Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. ‘I am willing,’ He said. ‘Be clean!’ Immediately the leprosy left him and he was cured.” (Mark 1: 40-42)

(blog below pictures of the village; place mouse on pictures for captions)

“If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal” (I Corinthians 13:1).

I am again stationed in my bed for rest, after a busy week and a half of outreach. I lie there, much entertained, not by a TV or CD player, but by the myriad sounds outside the guest house where I’m staying. An old woman who lives across the street from the guest house died yesterday morning, and a funeral has been in procession for her ever since. Clanging, drumming, yelling, ringing, barking, gonging, firecracking…every type of sound imaginable is occurring outside. I looked over to the house a couple of hours ago when the sounds were particularly loud, only to see the last people of a procession go inside. They were men—dressed in some type of white garb. Buddhist priests? I have no idea. I really have no idea of anything going on over there. I can only speculate.
So I lie there, wondering what the old woman was like to warrant such fanfare at her earthly departure. Or is this fanfare? Perhaps this is a normal Chinese funeral. Then I wonder if she is loved, and this funeral is a display of love and honor for the deceased, or if this is simply a matter of religious ritual that must be performed. I wonder where the hearts of the funeral attendees are. Are they grieved with the loss of a dear one? Or are they, too, attending out of self-honor, saving-face because not attending would be a societal faux pas.
This all reminds me of the religious ritual we Christians act-out most often—we act loving but don’t have love in our hearts. We act in a loving way—in a way others would approve of— more out of self-honor than honor for God. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying it’s horrible or sinful to act loving when we don’t feel loving. In fact, we should. Love is an action, not a feeling, and many times real love grows for someone when we act it out. However, Jesus didn’t love because He felt He should—He loved because He is love. It is part of His every essence—it is who He is. Therefore, to not love, or to love in any way less would be contrary to His very nature. And we are called to live as Christ lived—nothing less.
So, my question is— are we truly loving? Or are we going through the religious ritual, doing the Christian duty, out of obligation? I would go so far as to say that the latter borders living by the law instead of the freedom of Christ. Yes, I know that’s a strong statement to make. But a motivation check is necessary. What is our motivation with people? Is it to truly serve and honor them above ourselves, as Christ did? Or do I do nice things for people because the Bible says I should, as I silently resent them? Or, worse yet, as I silently hope they are approving of and admiring me? Who is on the throne of our hearts— Christ? Or ourselves?
The good news is that the Lord sent the Holy Spirit to empower us to do His will. We don’t need to conjure up love, or try to fake it as we resent those we serve. It is our inheritance, as children of God, to be led and filled by His Spirit. Then we are able to accomplish the impossible tasks He asks us to do, such as loving our neighbors as ourselves. 2 Peter 1:3-4 says, “By His divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all this by coming to know Him, the One Who called us to Himself by means of His marvelous glory and excellence.” He’s given us everything we need to live a life worthy of His calling for us! It’s not a matter of hoping or dreaming it up or conjuring up enough will power… the love necessary is already inside of us.
The key is accessing that love by means of the Holy Spirit. As we live in obedience to His voice and His Word (the Bible), we unlock the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Then we slowly but surely begin to walk by the Spirit and not by the flesh. And as we walk in step with the Spirit, fruit is produced (see Galatians 5:22). The first of these fruits is love.
You see, our Lord knows how weak we are! He knows that we cannot truly love on our own—it either becomes religious duty or selfish people pleasing. So, in order that we could both receive and give away this most treasured gift, He empowered us with Himself to bestow it… just as John wrote, “We love because He first loved us” (I John 4:19). Let’s move to the next level of intimacy with the Lord by allowing Him to fill us with His love as we humble ourselves and submit to Him. Let’s move beyond our childish motivations and into His presence… then will we truly love with the authenticity and humility that is marked by Christ.

Around the fifth of February, we fly to Auckland and will be serving the Maori (native New Zealand) community in the north part of the north island for the month. After a week of debriefing back at our base in Oxford, we have graduation on March 6. I fly back to L.A. on March 7.

Here are my prayer requests for our two-month outreach:

1. Smooth and safe travels, especially through the Chinese immigration
2. Protection (physical, spiritual, etc.); not only for our team, but also for those we come into contact with (that is probably the greater concern and we need to be very careful about that)
3. Open hearts of everyone we will come into contact with; divine appointments
4. Our team be filled with the Spirit
5. Unity of our team
6. Boldness for our team
7. Above all else, LOVE

Thank you so much for your faithful prayers and support! I will try to access internet to give updates, but cannot guarantee it as we will be in a rural village for most of our time in China. I should have internet access when we get back to New Zealand. I just want to say “thank you” to everyone who has provided me support in some way. A special shout-out to my parents, who have been supportive beyond measure…you are AWESOME!! Truly, without everyone’s help, I would absolutely not be here.

Again, our team cherishes your prayers— THANK YOU!!

P.S. If you send me an email (or post something here or to me on Facebook, between now and February 5), please be delicate in what you write… the Chinese government is still monitoring online activity… please do not mention YWAM, and use code (such as ‘Father’ instead of God, ‘pr…y’ instead of pray, etc.). Thanks!!

Oh yes, I’ve lived like I was a princess (I can just see you smirking as you read this! ). I’ve loved to surround myself with the finer things the world can offer… high fashion, gourmet food, trips to the wine country, a beautiful home, fabulous parties, a great career, a handsome man on my arm… anything and everything I could do to create a life of glamour, a life of a princess. But after so many years of living this life—which also included multiple heartbreaks, chronic fatigue, depression, and ultimately burnout (all after becoming born again, by the way)— I was done with the so-called “fairytale.”

The fairytale never brought me what I was really wanting— what all of us really, truly long for— love. I’m not just saying the love of a man! I’m talking about a desire to know the deep, deep unconditional love and acceptance of my Heavenly Father, which far surpasses any earthly love. I am convinced that most Christians do not have heart knowledge of how much their Heavenly Father loves them. Oh yes, we can quote the Scriptures about love and we know in our heads that God is love, therefore He must love me. But to truly grasp His love for me personally, in my heart, is altogether something else. What we need is a revelation.

Instead of living like the princesses and princes that we are, we still live as what author Jack Frost calls “orphans”— as if we’re fatherless and lost in this world, not knowing in our hearts who we really are or that we have the most powerful and loving Daddy in all the universe who wants to take care of us. We are fearful and anxious and living in the shadow of rejection, untrusting and protective of ourselves. But our Father God sent Jesus to earth to reconcile us back to Him—to bring us home, to bring us back to His heart, which is a place of rest and security, intimacy, trust, and love. You see, God originally created the Garden of Eden— a place of life and abundance and intimacy and beauty— as home for His children. It was because of Adam and Eve’s sin that their Heavenly Father had to cast them out of the Garden of His presence. So, they became orphans— ashamed, insecure, and fearful. They were separated from God’s heart, separated from their home. And that orphan heart was passed-down through the generations to you and me.

However, Jesus bridged the gap between the Father and us by paying the price of our sins on the cross. We now have access to the Him and His garden, access to our home in His love. For Father God sent Jesus on a mission to bring us back to Him, the cross being the visible demonstration of His love for us. Read John 3:16 with new eyes, from the perspective of the Father: “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life” (emphasis added). The whole reason Jesus came to earth was so we could come home to the place we were created for!

Ephesians 1:4-5 says, “Even before He made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in His eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. This is what He wanted to do, and it gave Him great pleasure.” Think about what this verse is saying: before God created the universe, He loved you and me personally! Before time began, God chose you and He chose me! We have been adopted into our Father’s family— the family of the Creator of the Universe— and it gives Him great pleasure to bring us into His family! God does not merely tolerate us and bring us into His family because He feels like He ought to, but it gives Him great pleasure to do so! Wow… I hope this gets you excited…

These days, instead of trying to be a princess on the outside, I am learning to rest in my Father’s love and allow Him to create me into a princess on the inside. As I let go of the sequins dresses and other earthly possessions that I used to create my princess identity out of, I now look to my Father’s affections and allow Him to define my heart as a woman and child of God. I recall what Peter wrote: “…clothe yourselves with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious.” (1 Peter 3:4). Of course this is a process. But each day, as I grasp more and more fully my Father’s unquenchable love for me, I am able to let go of the counterfeit affections that have plagued me for so long.

To close, I challenge you to not be satisfied to go through your Christian walk without knowing our Father’s love for you personally, deep in your heart! Ask yourself, what are the earthly things that you are using to create your identity (give you security, etc.), outside of your Heavenly Father’s love for you? How are your actions reflective of an orphan’s heart, rather than the heart of a beloved child of God? Ask your Heavenly Father to reveal His Father’s heart for you, and keep pressing-in until you have revelation! I guarantee this revelation will change your life as it is changing mine.

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P.S. A couple of classic books on the subject are, “The Father Heart of God” by Floyd McClung and “Spiritual Slavery to Spiritual Sonship” by Jack Frost.

There’s this sense of loss…you cultivate these beautiful relationships— really trying your best to live-out the Acts church together in community— then it all comes to an end. Jesus said we must hate our very lives to truly follow Him. I’m finding, the more closely I walk with Him, the more I must give up to continue with Him. It was a sacrifice to come here and live on a base with eighty-plus other people (you may recall one of my earlier blogs about this) and now it’s a sacrifice to say goodbye and to let go!

Although I am building relationships with some of the most beautiful people, there is still this sense of solitude. Of course we walk alongside others during the journey, and the Christian life *must* be in community, but it’s also one of solitude with Jesus. You cannot take anyone else to the deepest places of your heart, even if you sit them down and try to explain what’s going on in there (if you’re able to put it into words at all!). But only the Lord can *truly* share our deepest joys and our deepest sorrows, since He is within rather than external to our hearts. Not that I don’t keep my family and close friends very near to my heart wherever I am in the world. Without their love, encouragement, and support, I doubt I would have the capacity to be abroad serving the Lord. So there’s this juxtaposition: streams of deep love and intimacy mingled with streams of solitude…yet all ultimately flowing in the same direction, towards Christ.

My life over the past couple of years has been one of letting go. I’m continually having to let go…whether it’s of material things or lifestyle patterns or relationships or thoughts… I’m continually being told to keep a loose grip on everything, if any grip at all. This is hard. You have to be adaptable. Jesus lived this type of life: “Foxes have dens to live in, and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place even to lay His head” (Matthew 8:20). Jesus said this in response and warning to someone who wanted to follow Him, for He knew doing so would be very costly. The farther along the path of faith we walk with Him, the more we have to let go of, as if the journey gets steeper and steeper along the way… so more and more baggage must be left on the side of the trail—it’s just too heavy and inhibits us from moving forward to where He wants to take us.

Don’t get me wrong—I know I’m called to this life, at least for now. I cannot imagine it any other way. And there’s absolutely no turning back. I am compelled to be on this journey. Not to mention the benefits FAR outweigh the costs: I’m really learning— deep in my heart— how much my Heavenly Father loves me and all of His creation. I cannot put a price on the revelations of love He has blessed me with! But It’s a spiritual principle that death proceeds life— one seed must fall to the ground so that others may sprout and produce a harvest of life. Of course, the greatest example of this principle is Jesus’ death… “because one person obeyed God, many will be made righteous” (Romans 5: 19). Let us follow Christ’s example, as well as Paul’s, who wrote, “Everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Jesus Christ my Lord. For His sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with Him” (Philippians 3:8).

 “If you love your father or mother more than you love me, you are not worthy of being mine; or if you love your son or daughter more than me, you are not worthy of being mine. If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy of being mine. If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it” (Matthew 10:37-39).

i didn’t really think of myself as a very selfish person before i came to new zealand (feel free to disagree ), but while living for a week with my team in very close quarters, i started to wonder if i was but just never noticed it. over thanksgiving week and the week after,  our team went up to the north part of the island for two weeks of teaching and service. during the first week, we stayed in small “cabins” (actually, the cabins were more like rooms you would find in an old church camp which hasn’t been renovated for a few decades)… four of us to a room, regardless of sleeping patterns or tidiness. this was the first time all of our team was together, off the base, for an extended period of time– and without the other schools’ students around to diffuse personality differences.

moreover, if we were late to something on the base, we could be sure someone else was, too, so we could sneak in under the radar, so to speak. not so on our team retreat up north! OH MY! kiwis are the most punctual people on this planet, i am convinced– even more so than the english and germans…my leaders told me that if i’m a couple of minutes late (even to something like breakfast), i am personally dishonoring them. DOUBLE OH MY!!! well, you can imagine that got my american blood pumping quite quickly… the only events we consider it absolutely necessary to arrive exactly on time to are job interviews or one’s own wedding, for goodness’ sake!

i tried to explain to them there was a cultural difference going on here, but my argument was lost on them. submission to authority lesson #1— i must give up my rights to myself for the team’s sake, even if my rights seem reasonable (such as sleeping-in due to chronic fatigue). it doesn’t matter what the reason is– the team always comes before self. what a concept to an american who has always been socialized to think individually! our society is way more individualistic than we realize…we do not think in terms of ‘what is best for the group/team/family’…but ‘what is best for me, and how can i also get that to be the best for everyone else?!’ we think we’re being team players when we convince everyone else our way is right…

Jesus didn’t assert His rights when He was on the earth. He gave them up. God Himself gave up His own rights and humbled Himself unto death for our sakes! He didn’t worry about Himself, because He knew His Father loved Him and would provide everything He needed. He first and foremost knew He was a beloved Son, and He lived out of that knowledge so He never needed His rights to be upheld.

and so i’m finding certain things not affecting me as they would have in the past. giving up my right to time was probably the hardest lesson i’ve had to learn so far, especially being 35 and single…freedom is the greatest gift i can enjoy in this stage of my life. yet the Lord wants even that. why? because He has so much more for me, for all of us. what comes when i give up rights to my time or to anything else? peace, joy, internal freedom that cannot be matched, loving intimacy with the Creator of the Universe…i could go on and on…He always out gives us…i give Him that last five minutes and He gives me Heaven on earth…pretty good deal, eh?!

so, ya, when i’m obedient in little things and spend more time in His presence, other things that used to bother me just fall off. they really do. i can sense in my Spirit that deep things are being expunged and the Holy Spirit is replacing them. it’s as if the onion is not only being peeled from outside, but a heart is also growing from within.

i want to challenge you: whatever God is calling you to obey Him in, do it! if you’re not spending that much time with Him, do it! not because you “should,” but because you have a Heavenly Father who absolutely adores you and longs to have an intimate relationship with you! i can say from personal experience that living in His presence and allowing Him to peel (ok, rip!) my outer layers off is the best thing that has EVER happened to me.

(p.s.– if i’m talking in a foreign language because this Christian thing is totally foreign to you, i challenge you to take a step and just pray to God! nothing fancy, just talk to Him like He is with you right there in the room. He loves you and would love to hear from you!! )

Okay, here are my heart learnings…it’s a bit of a sermon but oh well… i pray you are personally blessed in your Spirit as you read…

I’ve been given two major revelations through the teaching thus far. The first one is this: God’s love— not punishment— awaits me (and all Christ-believers) when I arrive at Heaven’s gates. Since the moment I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior, I have been completely forgiven of all my sins, past and present, and am covered completely by His blood. This means that my Heavenly Father sees no fault in me! This means He only sees me through the righteousness of Jesus! This means I need not fear any punishment or wrath whatsoever upon meeting the Lord! Before coming to Oxford, I can say I had head knowledge of this, of my innocence in Christ. Yet, all my life I’ve lived in fear of punishment, fear of disappointing God, fear of being “too much of this” (such as lazy!) or “not enough of that” (such as obedient!), fear of never being good enough. The truth is, God is perfect and holy and I can never be good enough for Him on my own! But, since I have Jesus standing in the gap for me, I am justified and righteous in God’s sight. Imagine having the wrong view of God for our entire lives, thinking we need to continue to do things (or even be a certain way!) to keep His wrath at bay upon judgment day (I ‘ve always shuddered at those last two words)…when in fact only reward awaits us! How terrible to learn that we could be wasting so much of our lives by living in fear because we have been given misinformation! To think we could be spending years and years trying to evade His judgment, which He never intends for us to have to face! Jesus came and did the work on the cross so I can live in freedom…. I’m free! What more could I ask for?

You see, Father God sent His Son, Jesus, on a mission… He was a lovesick Father who wanted His kids back, so He sent Jesus on a mission to earth to get them at whatever cost (John 3:16). I love that version of the Scripture! :) …this is my second revelation… Father God wants to restore His relationship with us, as well as restore what was rightfully ours before the fall of Adam and Eve. We are His children and heirs if we believe in Him and His Son! The story of the Prodigal Son takes on a whole new depth when we view it in light of a loving father who is desperate to have his son back home with him. When his son finally appears in the distance after having been gone for several years (missing to the point where the father thought he was dead), the father runs unashamedly to him…throws his arms around him, kisses him, and puts the family signet ring on his finger (indicating authority). He restores his son’s original position of honor, giving him what was his before he ever went wayward. So forgiving and full of grace, the father simply wants his child back with him where he belongs, releasing the debt of his rebelliousness and wastefulness. Imagine, it is so with our Heavenly Father. He is a loving Father who simply wants His children back in relationship with Him. God is love, and love must have an object… that is why He created humankind, to love on us, His children. He longs to lavish all of the treasures of His kingdom on us! Our only role is to accept His gift of love through His Son Jesus. That’s it. It almost seems too good to be true. In fact, I’ve spent years thinking it must be too good to be true. Now my job is to just accept the gift and live in the freedom, peace, joy, and love my Heavenly Father (daddy!) brings me through relationship with Himself. Awesomeness.

i prayed and asked for Him to give me the grace to live here as i was being called to…He always gives us everything we need to do His will (philippians 4:19). then, not very much later, we had a time of corporate worship…and it was during that time that i felt my Spirit connecting to the others’ Spirits. by the time it was over, i felt quite connected and not out-of-place whatsoever. pretty cool. ever since, i’ve felt more than happy to be here with everyone. not that people don’t get on my nerves! . we’ve got people here aged 18-65, from several different countries including the US, canada, the netherlands, the UK, switzerland, new zealand (of course!), australia, and germany. we all joke that there are several different versions of english being spoken, which is so true! it’s pretty hilarious…we’re all learning english together . but, seriously, i had such a time of separation from people during this last year after moving out of san francisco, that this tight living situation is more than welcome to me. i do feel totally back in my element…getting to know new people from different backgrounds, each with their own amazing  story.

think about it. everyone here has heard a call from God to give up their lives as they’ve known, and to come follow Him to share His love throughout the world. especially the people in my school group, which are all above thirty years old…we’ve all had careers and homes and major things we’ve given up to come here to oxford. it’s pretty amazing…i finally have met people who are in the same exact boat as i am…one man in my group sold his home to be here, another woman sold her possessions including her car…i feel as though i fit right in here, when i had been the anomaly back in california (or so i felt!). and we’re in it for the long haul.

the cool thing is that i feel like oxford is home. i am really comfortable here. i am even getting used to living without locks! isn’t that crazy? that’s crazy to me— there are no locks on my bedroom door, and they only lock the front door of my house at night. but, i am on the south island of new zealand, out in the country, where no one really locks anything and everyone says ‘hi’ as you pass them in the neighborhood.  the countryside is absolutely gorgeous here, with rolling green fields which are home to many sheep and lambs…newly snow-capped mountains in the near distance…fresh, crisp air with no touch of smog whatsoever… cherry trees in bloom (my favorite!)…flowers in abundance everywhere…ok, ok, i’ll take some pictures this weekend (if it doesn’t rain as it has been) to post. i cannot fail to mention that our next door neighbors have two sheep in their front yard as pets. i am not kidding!

the downside is that the winter i thought i was going to miss this year has just arrived to oxford (very late!), and it’s *freezing* here. in fact, the hills near our base received the largest dump of snow yesterday for the entire season. and it’s supposed to be spring here. so, i’m frantically on the phone with my mom to have her ship my wool socks and sweaters, and am rummaging through the “free box” (a shed filled with discarded clothes from past ywamer’s) for warm things. however, a few of us quickly drove up to the hills last night and had an impromptu snowball fight, so i suppose things could be worse .

8:49am

so, I pretty much missed the last day of september.  i only wrote that last entry a few hours ago! so, we’re twenty hours ahead here…behind four hours, but the next day. i really want a diet coke because my body thinks it’s almost 1pm. but can I have one at 9am in the morning? the coffee on air new zealand was instant, for sure. yet, i drank it anyway, both out of desperation and out of the conviction that I can no longer be a food & drink snob as I have in the past. who do I think I am, not eating or drinking something placed in front of me because “i don’t eat that”!!! that’s a behavior of mine that must change. first, I need to be able to stomach red meat, and more than just the  top-grade beef. i’m afraid they’re going to feed us mutton everyday here, which, i hear, is a strong, tough meat unless it’s cooked properly, over a long period of time… correct me if i’m wrong?

speaking of biohazards…they have a serious biosecurity function at the auckland airport! oh my goodness! they are ruthless about what comes into new zealand, and with good reason. they want to preserve the beauty of this place, so are vigilant about what comes in…nothing’s allowed that may contaminate the beauty here in any way, no matter how slight. they have you fill out a customs form which also asks you in detail about any types of items you might be bringing in, including dirt on the bottom of your hiking boots from a recent camping trip, honey, feathers, dried flowers, sea shells, and basketware. and I thought the US was strict! but seriously, it stands to reason here. yes, I did declare my candy corn, since it contains honey… I was questioned about the “form” of the honey in the candy…but phew…they didn’t confiscate it from me. 

September 29, 2009

11:30pm

i’m on the plane to new zealand! sitting here, i’m waiting for a late supper (as the kiwis apparently call it) and flipping through my mp3 player. i stop at tim hughes’ music, as he is the artist these days that has been capturing my spirit and leading me right into God’s presence. i come to ‘God of justice’ and remember we sang this song at rockharbor two weeks ago and i could not believe the lyrics…they were (and are!) the exact echo of my heart. i could not help but weep as i sang them for the first time…

‘Jesus, you have called us
freely we’ve received
freely we will give.
we must go
live to feed the hungry
stand beside the broken
we must go
standing forward
keep us from just singing
move us into action
we must go
“
fill us up and send us out
fill us up and send us out
fill us up and send us out, Lord!’